22 7 / 2014
littlemisscodeless said: The fact that tumblr sj has come to making a young woman have to go through those contortions to "justify" being born female is really telling I think. I do wonder if there are any cis men who feel like this girl does?
Probably, but they can’t try to be “circumguys” because the insane hostility to trans guys makes that non-viable.
I really wonder, because on one hand tumblr sj is very hostile to males of any kind, on the other it has this habit of doing the opposite of what social justice is supposed to achieve.
I’ve frequently seen people be significantly more hostile to trans guys than they are to cis guys. I call it isomisogyny.
I think that is more a case of hostility to someone they perceive as beiong female though, and would not affect cis men as much. (Though it happens).
My thought process was more that cis men fit into two categories tumblr sj hates, but so far I haven´t seen them react the way the circumgirl did. Wonder if I just don´t see it, if for some reason cis men are not as affected by sj hostility, or what?
Well, some people apparently do experience some distress. Difference, I think, is that cis guys have a much easier baseline time. There’s at least one culture where no one is giving them crap. A cis girl can choose between a generally-hostile world or tumblr’s SJ community which would be nice to her if she were trans.
i think there’s also the angle where if someone’s hating on you for being a cis man, sure it sucks (especially if they’re ignoring, say, race, disability, or other intersectional factors in their rush to paint you as an Easy Mode Entitledouche), but it is true that cis men get the lion’s share of screentime, political power, etcetera, so it’s pretty understandable for people who don’t get nuance to flip out on you.
whereas if you’re a cis woman, you’re living with misogyny every day but tumblr sj wants to turn around and kick you in the gut for not being oppressed enough. and that is unfair. it’s not accurate. it doesn’t make sense. and the same people who do this like to say they’re feminists, and if you’re naive enough to believe that, then seeing them attack a woman for being a woman is a really weird betrayal.
so i reckon you’re probably not going to be able to just let it go the way a lot of cis guys do. it’s not just a cruel overgeneralization, it’s a stab in the back from people you thought would support you.
and then there’s the stealth misogyny that crops up so often in these wank wars. even if you’re not genre savvy enough or it’s not obvious enough for you to point to it and go, “THERE, there is where this supposed feminist freedom fighter went into sneering-at-women mode!” — you’re gonna pick up on it. that is super uncomfortable, especially in these contexts.
tl;dr: these kids’ creep radar is functioning, they just don’t know what to do about it.
I was actually just thinking earlier today that it’s a very weird, inverted form of respectability politics: these kids, they hang out on tumblr and they care about equality, but people in their peergroup are saying very loudly that you have to be this oppressed to deserve a seat at the table without getting shit on or dismissed and being your regular garden-variety beleaguered teenage girl doesn’t cut it, and so these kids start trying to figure out how to assimilate, and circumgender shenanigans seems to be the ticket in. If you stigmatize a whole gender or orientation, as we see offline, a whole lot of people are gonna do their best not to act like that gender or belong to that orientation. Especially as vulnerable, fearful teens.
This shit is like some kind of sad, hilari-tragic ouroborous of girls and queers all eating each other. It’s gotta work itself out some time, right?
22 7 / 2014
Two other women, also breast cancer survivors, said their husbands left them after they were diagnosed. Both had to have mastectomies (in case anyone doesn’t know, this is the surgical operation to remove one or both breasts).
The first woman said her husband told her that he would rather see her dead than see her lose her breasts. The second woman had her operation and waited all day to be picked up by her husband, who never arrived. By nightfall, one of the nurses offered to give her a ride, and she came home to find the house empty.
Obviously, these are extreme cases of a man’s reaction to his wife’s breast cancer, but this is what I see when I see the “I ♥ Boobies” bracelets. I see love of the body parts, not the person being treated—not the patient, not the victim, not the survivor."
21 7 / 2014
I went for a walk today AND went for a swim! So I am super super proud of that. And I talked myself out of McDonald’s for dinner! And am having a toasted bagel with cream cheese and radishes and then a salad! WOOOOO.
20 7 / 2014
when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath
You know what? You just changed an aspect of myself I’ve hated since ballet class in sixth grade. Thank you!
20 7 / 2014
Is there room for one kinda weird mostly slore who sucks at portraying her sloredom on her blog, but wants to slowly be a more in shape slore person?
14 7 / 2014
"sexuality is a spectrum so everyone’s a little bisexual"
visible light is also a spectrum but i don’t see you calling everything you’ve ever seen “a little green”
13 7 / 2014
Tonight was very hard. Things are shifted slightly and I am not sure about the steps to the dance now but at least I am still not dancing alone. I am scared. He’s scared. Scared turtles all the way down.
11 7 / 2014
I really hate when allistic/neurotypical people say things like “Normal is a setting on a washing machine.”
When in reality it’s more like “Normal is a great way to get a job and have your contributions to society recognized and not get murdered for existing.”